


Solace

by fififolle



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Holding Hands, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fififolle/pseuds/fififolle
Summary: Evan needs solace, but only David can give it to him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the parrish_lorne Summer Flash Fest Week One, prompt 'Alone'.

As soon as he could get away, Evan dumped his kit in his quarters and headed out to the north pier.   
  
He'd lost men before. Sometimes more than one, occasionally a whole clusterfuck where he's been the only guy back to the gate. But here in Atlantis, his track record has been better. Losing Walker and Stevens was hitting him hard. He'd known them well - hell, he knew everybody well on Atlantis. Not the way you knew other Marines back on Earth, it was different out here.  
  
You could almost close your eyes and pretend this was home. Home, where you hung out and laughed and watched movies and really talked and had friends and... a lover. Okay, maybe not that far, but it was as close to living as he'd ever known in the Marines, and today his foundations had rocked a little.  
  
He sat on the balcony on the ninth level and buried his face in his folded arms over his knees - and just breathed. He needed some time to get his shit together. To put his Marine command shield back in place, where he regretted the losses and believed that they didn't die in vain, and all that crap that stopped everyone else falling to pieces.  
  
What he really wanted to do was visit their families and hold Cassie Walker in his arms while she cried, and explain to Lis and Pete how great their dad was, what a cool, brave guy he'd been, and how he'd ever forget him. What he really wanted to do was take Dora Stevens hand as she wept for her son, and make sure he wrote to her every June when Carl's birthday came around.  
  
He couldn't do that, though, could he? It was all Top Secret, Classified, Need-to-fucking-know. Sorry, they're dead. Can't say how or when or where, there's no body, and you can't talk to anyone involved.   
  
It fucking sucked.  
  
He gave an involuntary half-sob as he hauled in a breath and he gripped his hands into fists so hard he could feel his nails bruise the flesh.  
  
“Evan?”  
  
He held his breath. Slowly, he turned his head and looked up, up, to find David Parrish looking down at him with concern.  
  
 _“Evan.”_ David pressed his lips together in a concerned line and folded himself to sit next to Evan on the balcony, his shoulder bumping up warm next to him.  
  
Evan couldn't say anything. He didn't want to hear his voice crack up, and he sure as hell wasn't going to cry.   
  
Just for a moment he hated Atlantis and everyone in it for turning him into this person. This person that cared. He wanted to hate David, too, tell him to fuck off and leave him alone, but he couldn't.  
  
David just sat quietly beside him and looked out over the water. He had to know what had happened today. Evan didn't need to ask why he'd come looking for him.   
  
They'd grown close, over the weeks. Too close, maybe, if Evan wanted to think about it, which he didn't. Now that David was here, Evan could feel his grief and anger morphing into something else, something more manageable that didn't overwhelm him anymore. He began to breathe more easily, let his hands uncurl a little.   
  
Maybe he leaned against David, maybe he didn't.  
  
After a while, David turned to him. “I didn't want you to be alone,” he said quietly.  
  
He didn't ask if that was okay and he didn't ask if Evan wanted him to leave or to stay. Evan felt like he would cease to exist if David wasn't right there beside him at this very moment.  
  
Evan reached his hand across and slipped his fingers into David's. It make the botanist freeze for a second. He'd never touched David like that. He'd never touched David's skin. Ever. He held tight, and David smiled with one half of his mouth curling up, his hand sliding around to envelop Evan's fingers completely.  
  
After a few minutes connected like that, Evan felt like he was in a better place, and he let out a deep breath and pulled his hand away.  
  
“I'm good now,” he croaked, and cleared his throat. “Thanks, for coming to find me. I appreciate it.”  
  
David just smiled, easy and open. “No problem. You hungry?”  
  
Evan took a moment as he got to his feet. This was his chance, to pretend this hadn't happened, to bow out and make like a Marine Major who hadn't just held hands with a botanist so he wouldn't cry.  
  
There was another chance, too.  
  
“You know what, doc? I'm starving.” He grinned, and held out his hand.  
  
David beamed from ear to ear and let Evan help him up.  
  
~


End file.
